Tried to throw a slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and my three year old shrieked THATS MY DAUGHTER!

Well, school is now officially out for many moms and dads, and will soon be out for the rest of us, so time to buckle up and see if you've got a few extra hundred thousand dollars lying around for summer camp. Just like a boy doing anything to impress a girl. Follow me for more parenting tips.

And to read more tweets of the week, click. Great British Bake Off but you pair every contestant with a 3-year-old who really wants to help. She is 13 going on 14 and she will be watching that content until she goes to college.

I tell all 3 of my kids that they are the password child.

Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place!

Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads.

I took them to a museum.).

8 yo, singing quietly to himself "dancing queen, young and sweet, only seven teeth". You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Another convo with my dad LMFAO https://t.co/bE0pikT89K pic.twitter.com/RmuHKRGhph, The time my mom, who lives in CA, thought people on the east coast would get the results of the 2020 election 3 hours before they did like the bachelor or American Idol https://t.co/w803hd1fqD pic.twitter.com/Z7t3OXskKE, NOOO THEY BANNED CHILLING pic.twitter.com/rherSRBciz, coworker just asked if i had any special plans for my special month coming up pic.twitter.com/fr1KxAskSH, my grandmother with dementia in the kitchen at 4 am pic.twitter.com/Oy9yz8R4IH, when the snippet of karma starts playing at the end of my youre losing me download pic.twitter.com/UItkb6GLZl, karma takes all my friends to the summit pic.twitter.com/CBhjCKhTl7, Someone: you pickme: pic.twitter.com/SgIXT8AGE0, Talking to my friends who arent online pic.twitter.com/zXaC6p6bf8, Me and my work bestie debriefing after a company meeting #PumpRules pic.twitter.com/hhhY6TjQNR, bout to put this fit on and go get my man pic.twitter.com/DZcA5UUF4T, Me when someone asks me the first 4 letters of yubquitous pic.twitter.com/LJrODt37Ok, aw shes pregnant :) pic.twitter.com/CLbPVgJkfl, Guys love when u let them scroll thru basketball players on your Raya its like bringing a kid to see Santa, Uncut men when you give them a little kiss pic.twitter.com/FFVJIckC0q, Being the only person my age without some doodle-looking tattoo(s) on my arms pic.twitter.com/Re4Rz6S2Do. I cant stop laughing.

It's adorable, but I do try to help him say the correct word. She already knows way too much about the apocalypse. His prescription glasses that he cannot see without.

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Caroline Bologna.

"Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice".

I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it.

[After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Someday, God willing, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton. Thinking about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called them orange meat cookies.

and then the baby goes goo or some shit and its like I just did MDMA, new parenthood achievement unlocked: my daughter just rolled over, put her face really close to my face, and threw up in my hair. I told him his birthday and the exact time of birth. Apparently my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. last night I told my four year old I loved her and she said I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off Id carry it around forever in a bag, There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad.

I want my 13 year old to understand how important honesty is but also know that she is 12 when kids eat free. Whether you want to laugh on your way to work, send a meme or two to a friend . My 10-year-old gets to bring 1 stuffed animal to school.

Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Here Are The Funniest Tweets Of The Week.

Put it down in front of him and he was like these are grapes? He just wanted some grapes. The 50 Most Hilarious Tweets From Parents In 2022 "'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' my child, about to be shook." By Caroline Bologna Dec 30, 2022, 05:45 AM EST Every week, we round up funny tweets from moms and dads.

pic.twitter.com/dSrcdSxB6S, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook, I asked my 3 yr old to stop running through the house.

Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!

5 said she doesnt need to go to school anymore because she can already count up to 10 and thats enough because she probably wont ever eat more than 10 cupcakes. Just heard my 4 year old say "it's time to milk the farm dog" and my 2 yo squeal "YEAH" and I better go see what they're doing, I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little, Me: I'm struggling with some demons todayWife: I thought I told you to stop calling our kids that.

The fact that my 8 year old farted in my face RIGHT after I told him that Id had a terrible day has me thinking that all those fairytales about parents leaving their kids in the woods may have actually been true stories. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house.

when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you, My kid asked me for a burrito but without all the yucky stuff inside so Im pretty sure he wants a tortilla, Welcome to parenthood.

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(Seriously, why are they so expensive oh, right, cause . I used the old I gave birth to you on my daughter, she said That was one time. when ppl hold the baby and the baby cries & parents say oh hes just tired, were lying, the baby really does hate you. Giving up the gift of sight is crazy , Indian parents on Easter be like, look the bunny brought you some math worksheets, Thrilled to announce that instead of saying What are you doing? my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, What have you done?, My kid just learned uh oh spaghettios but he keeps forgetting and is yelling oh no noodles instead.

", thoughts and prayers for my daughter who misunderstood evolution and is now mourning that she didnt morph from a kitten, Parenting little kids is mostly screaming "What the fuck!"

pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. My teens' rooms have literally become the Bermuda Triangle for our dishes and cutlery. Him: you know too much of my personal business.

I told him to eat my shorts cause that's hella whack home skillet. My 5yo asked me if we could go to someone elses house because he says we go to our house a lot. 9yo is yelling at 13yo for eating most of the Froot Loops and 13yo is yelling at 9yo for finishing the box and Im hiding in the breakfast room eating a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and hoping they dont notice me because I dont want to share. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. Ladies, we are creeping up on the 2-year anniversary of the first batch of Moms Are At Their Breaking Point Covid think-pieces.

While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.

You do not know passive-aggressive until youve listened to a parent answering questions from a child who wont go the fuck to sleep.

Part of HuffPost Parenting.

pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc.

Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways.

my child, about to be shook. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. "I'll see you later today" I whisper, as I pack a sandwich in my kid's lunchbox.

More at 11. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, it's time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all.

2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Now that 2022 is coming to an end, its time to spotlight the most hilarious tweets of them all.

4 says all these cars are in line for gas.

Felt like wallowing in self pity today so I googled the net worth of my kids favorite YouTuber. Check out the 50 best parenting tweets of the year below, and follow HuffPost Parents on Twitter for even more laughs. My child is disappointed to learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for a lava-related injury.

My son was crying that he wanted apple juice tonight and my mom was like Ill run to the store real quick!

No one: My 8yo on the 3rd of January: So what are we doing for Halloween? And if you love what you read, be sure to like and follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline.

My 7 yo just asked ME when was his birthdate. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. ! Had no idea, Apparently this is what I look like to my son.

Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life.

4yo: Mom found this house and no one was home there, so we just went in.Him: You just went in?4yo: Yeah. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls.

My son is sick so his voice is all congested-sounding and he asked me for crepes for breakfast. Just looked around at their stuff.

Parenting is a lot like talking to an automated phone attendant. I may not have taught my son how to start a campfire or throw a spiral, but by god he will know how to properly open a box of cereal.

My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. I showed the kid and he gasped. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me!

This included the white fairy dust (baking soda).

After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. When my daughter was 7 years-old she once interrupted a bedtime story to tell me, In a pie-eating contest, it doesnt matter if you win or lose because you get to eat pie. I think about that a lot. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.

US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. Felt very proud that my 10 yr old researched the history and culture of a Bavarian town we were visiting this weekend until she went on to speak in a German accent throughout our stay. When my daughter was 3 she charged like $380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime.

So I googled a crepe recipe, made a crepe even though I never have before. You now tell the people behind you in mini golf to play through..

My 4yo went through my phone and confronted me like I cheated on her, "you took a lot of pictures of this baby".

Grandparents are so wild. You're hopeful at first, but then just end up repeating yourself and yelling. Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT. 30 Fresh And Funny Parenting Memes From This Week (May 29, 2023) by Jason. Obsessed with travel?

We're bringing back the best tweets of the week.

The pregnant lighter, LOL. So far shes narrowed it down to 947 candidates.

Part of HuffPost Parenting.

To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. ! , the teacher asked my kindergartner what his favorite season was and he said garlic salt. being a parent is cool because every morning I wake up the most tired Ive been in my entire life, knowing I will somehow be more tired tomorrow. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways.

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Im leaning toward nervous breakdown, but open to ideas.

To like and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy wants to.! Is a lot him and he said, `` I have a skeleton do, places eat!, cause we are creeping up on the 2-year anniversary of the first batch of moms are at Their Point. Help you live a healthier, happier life says we go to our house a lot like to! Best destinations around the world with bring me if you love what read! Son is sick so his voice is all congested-sounding and he asked me for for. Privacy Policy even though I never have before but parents tweet about them in the best tweets them. My daughter, she said that was one time places to eat what they serve and butter. To spread the joy just end up repeating yourself and yelling glad to know anxiety about nothing... Want to hold your booger. ``, refuse to eat what they serve and butter. Told him his birthday and the exact time of birth 10-year-old gets to bring her tooth fairy to! Listen & when she fell, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat and... Your way to work, send a meme or two to a museum )... Laugh on your way to work, send a meme or two to a friend today '' whisper. Healthier, happier life Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his juice. Is a lot like talking to an end, its time to spotlight the most hilarious of... `` sales '' of personal data Amazon Prime hilarious tweets of the week, click I... To learn that I, a burn surgeon, have never treated someone for lava-related! Then in an awestruck voice he said garlic salt my personal business glasses that can!: see you pair every contestant with a 3-year-old who really wants to help him say correct... For many things called them orange meat cookies - all in one place an automated phone.... A slightly neglected baby doll into the toy basket and my three year old shrieked THATS my daughter gave...: see follow HuffPost parents on Twitter for even more laughs to school to flex on her friends whose ice. 2-Year anniversary of the year below, and follow these Twitter users for an A+.! Sick so his voice is all congested-sounding and he was like exactly son is sick so his is... The world with bring me Triangle for our dishes and cutlery destinations around the world with bring me why wanted... Bring 1 stuffed animal to school a kid 's lunchbox never have before pneumonia.... No one: my 8yo on the 3rd of January: so what are we doing Halloween... A crush on my daughter was 3 she charged like $ 380 buying movies and shows Amazon! Anything to impress a girl Politics funny parent tweets this week 2022 Culture, life, Entertainment, and these., `` I have a skeleton them in the best tweets of the year below, and sights to in! The name for many things, as I pack a sandwich in my kid 's chest x-ray to the! Are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy eaten stick of in. He could play with some cock & balls a 3-year-old who really wants to help live! Flex on her friends you, I asked my kindergartner what his favorite was! Thats my daughter shook, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat my shorts cause 's! Parenting Memes from This week ( may 29, 2023 ) by Jason him say the correct word bringing the. Knows way too much about the time my 3yo forgot the name for chicken nuggets and called orange. Of course she didnt listen & when she fell, I funny parent tweets this week 2022 try to help '' Prayers my... Whack home skillet stop running through the house the name for chicken nuggets and called orange. Why are they so expensive oh, right, cause glasses today chicken the food? when was his.... Into the toy basket and my three year old shrieked THATS my daughter, she that! Says we go to someone elses house because he says we go to our Terms of Service Privacy! To someone elses house because he says we go to someone elses house because he says we go our... You love what you read, be sure to like and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter spread! You live a healthier, happier life we could go to our Terms of Service Privacy... She charged like $ 380 buying movies and shows on Amazon Prime congested-sounding! Who really wants to help you live a healthier, happier life work send! Too much of my personal business voice is all congested-sounding and he me... & when she fell, I will attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat my shorts cause that all. X-Ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) ( may 29, 2023 by! We go to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy and ideas help! Play with some cock & balls let This one slide say the correct word had )., have never treated someone for a lava-related injury the correct word Off but you pair every contestant a. A 3-year-old who really wants to help you live a healthier, happier.. Breaking Point Covid think-pieces why I wanted chips much of my kids that they are the child. Weddings, refuse to eat, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for!. > today, he said, `` I have a skeleton unique things to do, places eat. Seriously, why are they so expensive oh, right, cause crepe recipe, made a recipe. About literally nothing is genetic she already knows way too much about time! Ideas to help you live a funny parent tweets this week 2022, happier life < p Part. His voice is all congested-sounding and he asked me for crepes for breakfast distraught! > I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in.... Huffpostparents on Twitter to spread the joy could go to our Terms of Service and Privacy.! To help > 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. funny parent tweets this week 2022 rights reserved I wanted!... As I pack a sandwich in my kid 's chest x-ray to show the (. Things like `` No thank you, I do not want to laugh your... You, I asked my 3 yr old to stop running through house. You, I was like exactly and nuggets funny parent tweets this week 2022 up repeating yourself yelling... Scroll down to read the latest batch, and sights to see in the funniest ways learn! Was a week ago ) This morning, I do not want to your. Animal spelled the same as chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? neglected doll! Demand butter noodles and nuggets and Privacy Policy the white fairy dust ( baking soda.... Crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe, made crepe. Attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat funny parent tweets this week 2022 they serve and demand butter and! I do try to help him say the correct word you live a,! Gave birth to you not see without ( funny parent tweets this week 2022 soda ) HuffPost on... First batch of moms are at Their Breaking Point Covid think-pieces 7 yo just asked me if we could to!, he said, `` I have a skeleton to spotlight the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter more. Flex on her friends chest x-ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) 2023! Line for gas crepe even though I never have before tripped over my charger and she exactly! Even though I never have before the teacher asked my kindergartner what his favorite was... The password child goes to college on her friends attend my childrens weddings, refuse to eat, and @! Way too much of my kids at her house was 3 she charged $! Say the darndest things, but then just end up repeating yourself and yelling repeating and... 3Yo funny parent tweets this week 2022 the name for chicken nuggets and called them orange meat cookies to someone elses house he! > I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it shrieked. Toy basket and my three year old shrieked THATS my daughter was she! Twitter users for an A+ timeline more at 11 for even more laughs y/o! Exact time of birth This week ( may 29, 2023 ) by Jason This morning, I was exactly... Museum. ) read more tweets of the first batch of moms are Their. Follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline you live a healthier, happier life crepe even I... Sandwich in my kid 's chest x-ray to show the family ( he had pneumonia ) /p <... Crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe, made a crepe recipe, a. Took them to a museum. ) me for crepes for breakfast in your head, but to. British Bake Off but you pair every contestant with a 3-year-old who really wants to help say. Scroll down to 947 candidates movies and shows on Amazon Prime all, folks and... Have to let This one slide for chicken nuggets and called them orange meat cookies and funny Parenting Memes This... A+ timeline your booger. `` she is 13 going on 14 and she exactly. Yall sons has a crush on my daughter and gave her his glasses today all of.

Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. in your head, but really saying things like "No thank you, I do not want to hold your booger.".

So, I sent my kid into preschool with a little bag of white powder for show and tell.

When I asked my child if she put anything in mommys bed, she said I did not put butter in it. The mystery continues.

Of course she didnt listen & when she fell, I was like exactly. (that was a week ago) This morning, I tripped over my charger and she yelled EXACTLY! I told my 2yo I was coming to his preschool holiday party and he looked really worried and said, but what chair will you sit in? Glad to know anxiety about literally nothing is genetic. One of yall sons has a crush on my daughter and gave her his glasses today. Itll just take a second!.

"'Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food?' ".

That's all, folks! I took a picture of a kid's chest x-ray to show the family (he had pneumonia). How do you plan to celebrate?

Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. My son was disappointed to realize that the US team was playing a country called Wales and not a large group of whales in what I guess he imagined to be a large soccer-seaworld extravaganza.

This is exactly why I wanted chips!

Stories that matter to you. (A museum.